Misjudged Christmas Present

Eoin had made a big request for an electric race track for Christmas and so we thought we'd give it a go. He loved playing with it and the fact that two people could race was even better. But alas when it came to understanding how to take it apart he didn't quite get it and so a few parts got broken. We have decided to put it away for now and instead Eoin is now obsessed with his Tonka XT truck.

More present opening

 

 

Red Bike for Christmas

 

My Little Angel

Angel Decoration made at school. Eoin is so proud of it!

Longest rendition of Jingle Bells EVER!

Happy Birthday Amy!

 

 TAKE ONE

 

 

TAKE TWO

Visit with Santa

Eoin was so excited to go see Santa. He made him a picture that morning and had his small list of presents he wanted to ask for. Eoin insisted he could only ask for four things as he is four. Top of the list is a new red bike with gears and brakes! When we were in the line to see Santa Eoin remained excited but as soon as it was our turn he became very shy and even tried to run away. He did NOT want to sit next to Santa. So in the end we got a family photo of us with Santa but with Eoin ignoring him. Oh well.

Big bike riding

Now if only we could hook the bike up to the electricity meter!

Dress Uptime

Britney Sing Along

What else do you do when you are home sick from school with a cold and croup?

Bike riding

Halloween at School

Eoin started off as a firefighter but soon got distracted and came and sat on my knee and watched the rest of the school parade and sing songs. He came home from school with so many goodies, pumpkins and decorations.

An October day at the beach

Musical Card

How does this thing work?

Eoin's 4th Birthday

Eoin's fourth birthday was a terrific day of celebrations. He woke early shouting that he was four now. After breakfast Eoin dug into his presents. He decided to open the heaviest present first thinking that would be the best. I was surprised that he actually was into the books that he unwrapped but he didn't pause long and then got into his hot wheels track which he was super excited about.

The afternoon saw a relaxed but fun party. We got a bouncy house which all the kids loved and had a pinata and face painting. Have way through the party Eoin decided he needed to put his Halloween costume on and so we had the appearance of Super Why. Eoin had picked his racing car cake out a couple of weeks before and the cake did not disappoint. It was stunning and yummy.

Thanks to everyone who made Eoin's day so memorable and special!

It's been quite the year

As Eoin's fourth birthday quickly approaches I find myself thinking back over the year and how much our lives have changed in that year.

In the last year we have moved to a new town, I had an emergency hysterectomy and a few weeks later received a diagnosis of thyroid cancer, Eoin started preschool and Andy turned 40 and has, well Andy has been the rock of the family that has kept us all together and going forward!

I have to be careful not to dwell on the feelings of guilt that I associate with this last year and it's impact on my family but there is no doubt that my illness has had an impact on us as a family. Along with the negative there is positive too. Eoin has demonstrated far more empathy then ever before. He helps me count out my meds and holds my hand at blood test time. He tells me it's ok to cry and then insists that Daddy and he hug my pain away!

Eoin and I have spent time together in ways that we once may not have. Eoin has always been a very active and physical kid but we have both learnt to enjoy 'bed activities'. Lots of reading and movie watching for sure but there have also been fun flashlight under the covers time, time just spent talking and of course lots of snuggling and cuddles. But my favorite is that Eoin and I have the same bedtime now and he falls asleep next to me stroking my little spiky hair that is slowly growing back.

This cancer has also meant a lot of time away from Eoin, whether it be while I'm in isolation after the radioactive I131 treatment or for the weeks that I have been in hospital. It has been so hard to not be there everyday for him, to be a part of his growing up (which he has done so much of this year). We have been blessed with the best nanny ever - our own Mary Poppins. Miss Ashley who initially joined our family for six weeks is still with us nine months later. Eoin loves her and she loves Eoin.

My journey through cancer is still ongoing. I have to have another round of radioactive I131 probably in December. This part of the treatment is so much easier that the external radiation which left me very ill and with a feeding tube. The tube is gone now though and I am working on eating. My taste buds are shot to bits so much food tastes awful so I am stinking to bland foods and lots of fruit and veg.

I don't think I would have managed this last year without the support of Andy. Andy has truly been my rock and strength this whole time. There just to hold me when I needed a hug, to provide unending hot water bottles when I was freezing, getting up twice a night to get me my meds (and sometimes getting up to Eoin too!), generally keeping the house going and holding down a full time job! This last August saw us together for ten years (8 years married). It doesn't feel like 10 years and we often say that we have been through more as a couple in those 10 years than some couples will in a lifetime. We wonder why we are sent more trials then some and we hope that the man upstairs has decided that we've had our fair share and that we get some 'normality' for a while.

Eoin started preschool a few months ago and it was very tough for him at the beginning because it coincided with my radiation treatment. However he has now settled into school and loves it. He is showing a huge interest in letters and numbers and spends quite a bit of time at his desk drawing, tracing and cutting. I'm still not sure how he will be four on Saturday. It feels like yesterday that we brought him home but it has been the most exciting four years. Being a family is he best gift and honor in the world. My family is my purpose and inspiration. Happy Birthday Eoin!

An update at last

Wow so much time has passed since my last post mainly because I've just been too ill but now I am beginning to get some strength back. I am starting to do everyday things again. The external radiation and peg tube really hit me hard. To date I have lost about 40lbs and now have no hair but I kind of like the lack of hair and not having to worry about cutting and styling!

For the last three weeks of treatment I was so sick I was admitted to hospital. This was incredibly tough on Andy and Eoin as the hospital was an hour away from home. I am forever grateful to our Nanny Miss Ashley for helping us through those weeks and to our friends who drove and visited througout the whole treatment.

I'm happy to say life continued on while I was ill. Eoin really enjoyed our block party and his time with Daddy. He also started preschool and is loving it. He surprised us last night by reciting all the months of the year in order! Eoin is super into numbers right now and has tons of fun asking Daddy to add up big numbers in his head. While still very active Eoin is also beginning to sit and do tasks that take time and concentration. In fact the other day when I asked him if he was ok because he was very quiet he told me ssh I'm concentrating.

So what now in life. We are going to try and get a normal routine going. I'm not sure right now when my next scan and/or treatment will be but we hoping for a break until the New Year.

PEG tube

So I'm heading into hospital again tomorrow for a couple of days so that my care team can place a PEG tube in my stomach. It is basically a tube used to feed me but a little different from the usual NG tubes. We can't place one down my throat as that is getting radiation and is red, swollen, blistered, and bleeding. So I have to have a PEG tube. I'm a little nervous as this is done under local anesthetic but as Eoin keeps telling me I must be a brave girl. I'll be at UCSF for a couple of days and have the tube for about six weeks but I only have two weeks of radiation left - yippee! Soon I'll be in single digits and counting down.

Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes - they mean the world to us and really do keep us going even when we think we have no strength left. My main visualization that has kept me going through all of this is the thought of you all holding hands in a circle with me in the center (and sometimes the three of us as a family) just being sheltered and prayed for by you all. It has at times brought me to tears to know that we are loved so much and we are humbled that you all care so much for us all. Thank you.

UPDATE (Aug 7) Two weeks later and I'm still in hospital. I have finished my radiation treatment which is amazing but I got a bad infection while here. Also my calcium and potassium levels are very low along with my white cell count. My health care team are going to keep me here a while longer so that I can heal and rest as much as I need. Tomorrow I get a central line (PICC) put in as my veins have disappeared. The PEG feeding tube is working ok - it took me  a while to adjust to it but I'm almost at the required level.

Cancer sucks!

So my external radiation treatment continues. I have done four weeks and I have three to go. I'm really beginning to feel the effects now. I'm tired all the time (hence the lack of blog updates) and I have lost the hair from the back of my head but still have hair on top! Quite a sight I can tell you.

Eating and drinking remain a challenge as I have blisters all down the inside of my throat and I have thrush in my mouth. I was carted off to the ER last week because I was dehydrated so I am working very hard on drinking.

We as a family are doing ok. I have started to read chapter books to Eoin as a way to spend more time with him as running around is not going to be happening for a while. I think this might be the first week where I don't make date night out but I'm hoping Andy and I can snuggle and watch a movie - maybe the new Torchwood. Our friends and family continue to support us amazingly.

Tuesday is my day of the week to see the doctors so I'm hoping tomorrow I will be able to ask for some pain meds so that I can try and eat. The radiation gives you an awful taste in your mouth almost like you have been sucking on a penny so that along with my taste buds being radiated makes food taste downright weird!

With all your support and prayers though I continue to smile and keep going through this journey. Please do keep praying for me and us as a family too please. It means so much to us to know that you are sending us your strength and prayers.

Let's go fly a kite....

Still train crazy!

 

Whenever you ask Eoin what he would like to do the answer inevitably has something to do with trains. Either he wants to play trains in his playroom (he now has a double train table), go to Vasona Park or Niles Canyon Railway. He really misses living near the train tracks but we still ride Caltrain from time to time. The pictures are of Eoin climbing ALL over a train at the Denis the Menace playground in Monteray.

Beacons of Light

Pigeon Point Lighthouse on Route 1 California

Well I haven't been too good at keeping this blog updated in the last few weeks so huge apologies. I am currently in week three of radiation therapy and have an end date of 5 August to work towards. I am travelling up to UCSF each day which is a round trip of 100 miles but we like the doctors and the team up there so it is worth it.

I have met some wonderful ladies up there. The one thing that shines out every time is the wonderful spirit everyone has who is on the journey that cancer takes you on. It is good to meet others who understand what it is like and we always have a word of encouragement or hugs for each other. In terms of my progress the radiation has given me a very sore throat and swallowing is a major pain but an ice cream diet isn't that bad!

As a family we are doing ok. Eoin has been going through big transitions - he started preschool three weeks ago which has been good for him. We continue to spend as much time as possible as a family at the weekends mainly at the beach. Andy continues to be my rock and beacon through out all of this. He rubs my back when I feel nauseous, has unending hugs and words of encouragement for me.

I must also say a huge thank you to all our friends here in the Bay Area who have volunteered to drive up to San Francisco so that Andy can continue to work. And to those of you who have cooked for us, cleaned and bought me beautiful scarfs a huge thank - we love you all and are truly blessed to have you in our lives!

Future engineer

 

For our Forever Family Day we went to a local classic car festival, Eoin was in heaven with all the amazing cars. He loved being able to see the engines and honk horns.

A Grey but Fun Family Day