IEP process and school placement

Eoin getting hair extensions and face painted at Legoland

So way back in December I blogged about how Eoin was asked to leave preschool because of behavior issues and the school not being able to support him. Since then Eoin has been at home with me. I am glad to say things have improved dramatically but we still decided to start the IEP process (individualized education program) with the school district.

We have registered Eoin for our local elementary school which is just round the corner. However he was kid number 340 to register for that kindergarten year. The last few years there have been 8 elementary classes and so as you can imagine our local school is HUGE and not necessarily the best match for Eoin.

Side note - the Cupertino school district has been amazing and so helpful even though Eoin hasn't started in a state school yet.

Help the shark got me!

The last three weeks have seen Eoin go through quite a few observations or assessments. I have filed in paperwork, had multiple interviews, organized for the IEP team to observe in the home, sports class or just at a playdate. We will finally find out what their recommendation will be next week. While we do await their recommendation with abated breath we have not sat on our laurels doing nothing.

Academics were never a concern for Eoin. There is no doubt that he is very very clever (so may have been bored at preschool). We were told after his academic assessment that he is very bright which has been reiterated a number of times since. So considering this we chose for this time at home to be focused on behaviour and on techniques that can help Eoin.


Eoin is amazing in identifying his emotions. He can tell you very clearly what he feels. What he cannot always do is find an appropriate reaction. No matter if it is a good emotion or a hard emotion Eoin struggles in displaying the emotion. If excited or overstimulated Eoin will very often squeal loudly or hit his forehead. If hurt he will cry heavily and if he sees blood well you have a major issue. If angry with people he knows he will hit, kick or even bite on occasion. This means that I am often covered in bruises. This sounds distressing and it is at the time but Eoin can reset so quickly that these reactions could occur many times a day.

Mommy and Eoin at Legoland with little pal Anthony which Eoin won at a target ball throwing game.

We have worked with a great play therapist who helped Eoin give a voice to his experience of Mommy being ill the last couple of years. This really helped reduce the amount of troubling outbursts. I truly believe that the last few months of having Eoin home with me again has been good. He has seen that for the most part I am well. I have enough energy to play with him, to get down on the floor and play and I stay awake longer then he does at night! I have worked a lot with Eoin on identifying appropriate ways to show emotion. We have worked hard on trying to give people personal space, sticky hands (for when he wants to hit) or seeking out a grown up for help. We have multiple sensory input toys for him and also a safe hideaway place when he needs it.

To many this sounds like a hard time, a hard kid to help and parent but for us it is not. We see (as do many who know Eoin) the amazing love he has. He tries to hug all his teammates in soccer and basketball goodbye each week; there are often tears if he cannot give someone a hug; he cheers for his teammates and encourages them; he does not have a problem not winning and will often say I am glad you won because you are strongest at that and then he asks for their help to learn;  he shares his toys pretty well with friends, he has amazing manners and Eoin tries something new everyday whether it is scary or not. Eoin is one of the most loving kids we know and so it is so hard to see hm struggle so much with emotions.

Eoin and Daddy checking out Lego on Easter morning.

There is so much I could write about how amazing Eoin is - clever, funny, loving, sensitive, energetic and very coordinated. I can only hope that with continued hard work from all involved that Eoin will be ready to start kindergarten in August. One more assessment for Eoin and two more interviews for me and then we will meet with the school team next Friday to see how we can all support this amazing kid as he starts school.