It's been quite the year

As Eoin's fourth birthday quickly approaches I find myself thinking back over the year and how much our lives have changed in that year.

In the last year we have moved to a new town, I had an emergency hysterectomy and a few weeks later received a diagnosis of thyroid cancer, Eoin started preschool and Andy turned 40 and has, well Andy has been the rock of the family that has kept us all together and going forward!

I have to be careful not to dwell on the feelings of guilt that I associate with this last year and it's impact on my family but there is no doubt that my illness has had an impact on us as a family. Along with the negative there is positive too. Eoin has demonstrated far more empathy then ever before. He helps me count out my meds and holds my hand at blood test time. He tells me it's ok to cry and then insists that Daddy and he hug my pain away!

Eoin and I have spent time together in ways that we once may not have. Eoin has always been a very active and physical kid but we have both learnt to enjoy 'bed activities'. Lots of reading and movie watching for sure but there have also been fun flashlight under the covers time, time just spent talking and of course lots of snuggling and cuddles. But my favorite is that Eoin and I have the same bedtime now and he falls asleep next to me stroking my little spiky hair that is slowly growing back.

This cancer has also meant a lot of time away from Eoin, whether it be while I'm in isolation after the radioactive I131 treatment or for the weeks that I have been in hospital. It has been so hard to not be there everyday for him, to be a part of his growing up (which he has done so much of this year). We have been blessed with the best nanny ever - our own Mary Poppins. Miss Ashley who initially joined our family for six weeks is still with us nine months later. Eoin loves her and she loves Eoin.

My journey through cancer is still ongoing. I have to have another round of radioactive I131 probably in December. This part of the treatment is so much easier that the external radiation which left me very ill and with a feeding tube. The tube is gone now though and I am working on eating. My taste buds are shot to bits so much food tastes awful so I am stinking to bland foods and lots of fruit and veg.

I don't think I would have managed this last year without the support of Andy. Andy has truly been my rock and strength this whole time. There just to hold me when I needed a hug, to provide unending hot water bottles when I was freezing, getting up twice a night to get me my meds (and sometimes getting up to Eoin too!), generally keeping the house going and holding down a full time job! This last August saw us together for ten years (8 years married). It doesn't feel like 10 years and we often say that we have been through more as a couple in those 10 years than some couples will in a lifetime. We wonder why we are sent more trials then some and we hope that the man upstairs has decided that we've had our fair share and that we get some 'normality' for a while.

Eoin started preschool a few months ago and it was very tough for him at the beginning because it coincided with my radiation treatment. However he has now settled into school and loves it. He is showing a huge interest in letters and numbers and spends quite a bit of time at his desk drawing, tracing and cutting. I'm still not sure how he will be four on Saturday. It feels like yesterday that we brought him home but it has been the most exciting four years. Being a family is he best gift and honor in the world. My family is my purpose and inspiration. Happy Birthday Eoin!